Learning is Leisure.

I've been trying to figure out why my head's always in fifty directions at once sometimes. In the ministry that I do my best to perform, I try to be strict with focus for myself and the team I help mediate, and that creates good results. In my own free time and work (mostly school-work) time, however, I find myself okay with high multi-tasking, little focus, and mediocre work. I think I need to learn a new way of leisure.

It may be a failed experiment soon enough, but I think that it's necessary to start making all, or at least most, of my leisure time into learning time for things that I am wanting to know on the side of my main focuses in life.

A few examples , maybe:
I am a musician, not an amazing one, but one nonetheless, and it's something I enjoy, however, I find my personal talents and gifts are more appropriately used when geared towards something where I'm leading others through figuring out systems, getting new ideas for flow of ministry, et cetera, and not creating music that is altogether not great. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite sure I could make fantastic music with practice, as I think most could, but I'm finding the lack in me for passion.

It's the same with me wanting to cultivate a good singing voice, not great, but good, but I am bad at it presently and lack the passion to trudge through the work that is required to acquire such a talent, and it's not my gift set.

It's the same with drawing, except I am much worse at that,

or learning guitar,

or knowing more about computer's hardware and software, being able to become the ultra-programmer.

I think it's time to make those things my leisure activities, instead of making my leisure wasted time cultivating something against what I am trying to create in myself. Then I can leave these activities out of my focus for all other time in my life. My life can become focused on what I need to be focused on if I want to do the completely crazy and amazing things that I know God has asked me to do and hope I am prepared to do.

I've been watching my best friend, Jordan Britton, do this for years without realizing that I should be doing it too. I think his parents did a wonderful job showing him how to be productive, all he needs sometimes is to learn or be able to rest.

I am the opposite. I am a pro at resting. I can rest three weeks away, but only get myself to work for a small amount of time. What if I turned my resting into contructive, yet restful and peaceful, time for myself? I would not only be a sufficient person withing the parameters of my own and others hopes, but a well accomplished person within the parameters of my own self-interest that do not involve my higher ambitions.

Anyway, I just remembered that I need to make myself learn within leisure, rest within work, and become the person that Jesus ultimately wants me to be. Thank you for making me happier, God. You truly do make me that way, and have never failed to in the end.